Mother's Day

Just became my favorite holiday!!!

Not because I'm a mom.

Or a "future mom" for that matter.

But because Mother's day is one of the TWO days we get to talk to our missionary!

(and I will be in Florida for Christmas, so I might only get this one time this year)

It was a rough go for Hermana Dana to find an internet café that had a good quality headset.

We originally planned for 2 PM, but didn't successfully talk to her until 9 PM. 

It was wonderful to see her face and hear her voice!

She spoke some Spanish to us, and we clapped like idiots afterwards. 

We are so proud of her! 

We talked about her new lifestyle,

she shared her frustrations about the language barrier,

and she told us about her tiny bunk-bed,

and the headless, featherless chickens that often occupy the dining table.

(Yuck)

She made us laugh,

and she made me cry.

I've always seen the mom as the focus when a missionary leaves. 

I never anticipated that being the sister is just as tough.

I miss her, yet I don't want to tell her that too much.

Nothing like encouraging staying on a mission by saying "I miss you!", right?

I ams so proud of the work she is doing,

though she doesn't feel like she is doing much.

She can't see the improvement she's making,

probably because there's no one around her that speaks English well enough to tell her!

Press Forward In Faith, Sister Brown!

{Arequipa Peru}

My little sister decided to be a full-time missionary last year.

Today, she flew to Peru to start that mission.

I wasn't able to see her off at the airport, because I had a test and presentation in class. 

But I sent her with a letter to read on the airplane instead…

and boy was it long-winded. 

But I hope it was a positive start to her mission.

So for the next 18 months,

She will spend her time teaching the gospel,

and I will spend my time missing her dearly.

Sister Missionary

So my little sister decided to serve an LDS mission.

She told me about it one night in the kitchen after she surprised us all and drove home from St. George without telling any of us.

She submitted her papers in just over a month,

and before we knew it, this pretty white envelope was in her hands.

It was a little miracle that her call came the week that it did,

because getting two busy daughters to have the same weekend free is really tough in this family.

It came the week after conference, and I excitedly headed home after my shift Saturday morning.

The second I got home it was prep for the mission-call-opeining party,

people started showing up around 7,

and Dana opened the envelope at 8:30.

Yup! My beautiful little sister is going to serve her mission in PERÚ!

Best part? She's reporting to the Peru MTC!

So on February 26, 2014, 

Dana Emily Brown

will board a plane at the Salt Lake International Airport

and she will go serve the Lord for 18 months.

(Though she's already talking about extending)

I'm so proud of my little sister!

~Courtney

{when plans go differently than expected}

Sometimes we come up with amazing, wonderful plans, that give us joy and hope for the future. Sometimes those plans don't go the way we anticipated them to.

No, I'm not talking about my plans, I'm talking about my friend, David Zahm's.

He left on a mission In October. He is now home.

And I learned an amazing lesson from him because of that.

He was wondering why Heavenly Father would call him on a mission, just to send him home a few weeks after entering the MTC, and while we were talking, I realized something.

Sometimes Heavenly Father wants to see if you have the Faith to step out of the boat.

What the heck am I talking about? Let me refresh your biblical memory. One day, Peter, James, John and a few others were fishing in a boat. In the middle of a body of water. And Jesus Christ was walking on water near them. Peter, with extreme faith in the Lord, stepped out of the boat and took a few steps on water. Granted, fear took over and he started to sink, which is when Christ stepped in and took his hand.

So let me restate my realization.

Sometimes Heavenly Father wants to see if you have the Faith to step out of the boat.

Peter had the faith that he could walk to his Lord, on top of water. He had enough faith to throw his legs over the boat and stand.

David Zahm had the faith to step out of the boat. And when I say step out of the boat, he more like jumped out of the boat. He left at 21 years old, which is the age guys are when the return from a mission. He left a thriving business, siblings that were going to be moving to other states (and by that I mean Hawaii), friends, and a really good productive life.

So yeah, he's home. And he'll probably pop up in future posts. And I'm not gonna give details into a life that isn't mine. But know this:

Some boys serve missions to gain a testimony. To figure out who they are. To mature, learn to fend for themselves. To gain a true love for the Gospel. David's already got all of that. So yeah, he didn't serve a full mission, but he's just as great, if not more great than most of the guys who serve missions cause they 'have to'.

So welcome home David. I'm sorry you have to deal with people who will say rude condescending things to you about your mission. I'm sorry you live in Utah, home of some seriously judgmental 'holier than thou' people. But in the long run, I'm not sorry about you not serving a full 2 years. You left on a mission. You served. That's all that should ever matter.

Welcome home :)
~Courtney

Return With Honor

I know I posted about my missionary farewells last month, but as of Wednesday, they have both entered the Missionary Training Center.

Saying goodbye to these two amazing people, Alicia and David, was harder than expected. I've already gotten 2 letters from Alicia, which is impressive considering she's been in the MTC for a week and 1 day...

Back on track.

David reported yesterday. But it feels like a week ago at least.
I've always had him around, always a text away. So this whole no texting thing?
It sucks thus far.

Not to mention I have to get through nursing school without his support. Bummer.

~Courtney

two farewells and a homecoming

All my life, I've been a proud member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Yesterday made me even more proud of my religion, and even more proud the amazing friends I have been blessed with.

Sunday morning at 9 A.M I got to listen to an amazing farewell talk given by the most amazing sister-missionary-to-be, Alicia Jane.

Alicia and I circa 2009

Saying I love this girl would be a gross understatement. She's one of my best friends.

circa 2009

Her talk was amazing. Beyond amazing. I cried and laughed and was so happy to see her speaking about something she holds so dear. HBF, you are going to be a wonderful missionary, and you are going to touch so many people's lives. I am so proud of you, and look up to you more than you will ever realize. The people of San Bernadino, California are lucky to have you for 18 months.

3 years later

Then, it was off to a homecoming for a guy in my ward. It was so good to hear him talk about his experiences, because he had a rough time serving, and we were all so glad to see him grateful for the trials and challenges.

To finish off my 3 Sacrament meeting Sunday, I headed to David's farewell at 1 P.M. David and I have known each other since 3rd grade. Yeah. 3rd grade. Miss. Gagon's class to be exact. Now David's story is honestly amazing, and words don't describe how happy I am to see him serving a mission. He was baptized a member a little over 2 years ago, and it was a prayer come true. When he was called to the Neuquen, Argentina mission, I about died of excitement.
His talk was one big huge testimony, and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face even if I had tried.
Oddly enough, after being friends for so many years, I have very few pictures of us together. And unfortunately I forgot to take one with him yesterday. He was busy. I was forgetful. Here's a pic from our Logan trip a few weeks ago.

Sad that this is the best pic of us...

2 years better fly by dude. I don't know how I'll make it through nursing school without you a text away.

To end the day, I got a beautiful sunset to send me back to Price.

So stinking proud of these two amazing friends! Love you both.
~Courtney

The Road Not Taken

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I learned that poem in elementary school. I looked at it as maybe the dude was picking a job, or maybe he honestly didn't know which walk to go on. Either way, it didn't mean anything much to me. It was a nice sounding poem about a guy who went against the norm.

And yet, so many years later. It's the title of a post I didn't think I would ever have to write about.

Last post I told you about Chris Green, my missionary. I showed a vague picture of the 2 inch binder stuffed with letters, and the stack of envelopes I'd been hoarding away.

And through the entire post, I knew that I had some devastating news for him once I saw him Saturday.

You see, like this guy in the above poem, I had two choices.

And both choices had really happy looking endings.

But the difference here, is this Robert Frost got to pick his path, while God told me which one I needed to take.

I fought, bargained and cried over His answer to my theoretical question. His answer that Chris wasn't 'the one' for me.

And Chris came home from the mission and called me every day, and every time I had to tell myself that God knows His plan for me, and that I needed to obey.

Saturday rolled around, and I made the drive to see him. We ate with his family and played games before we left on a walk to the park. And then, before I knew it, we were seated across from each other, my hands in his.

This was my moment to choose my path.

And I chose the path God had prepared for me.

With tears ruining my mascara, and my voice sounding nothing like my own, I ended our 2 year, 8 month relationship.

And, Chris, if you've ventured into the blog that has chronicled my life for a full year, I want you to know something. Putting this story, our story on here for every passing soul to read was a difficult decision. Some might look at it as a breach of privacy. As me looking for attention.

But this is for you. Not for the people who read this blog, not for myself really. It's for you. And I'm not gonna tell you about it. Maybe you'll stumble across this in a few months, a year, a decade. Maybe your sister will tell you to check it out. Maybe you will never, ever read this.

But I'm through living with maybe.

And, Chris, I hope that you aren't living with a maybe. Because while I have loved you for so long, I just know that there isn't a maybe between us. Heavenly Father tried to tell me for so, so long. And I ignored him. Like you said, you wouldn't have had the courage to ask. And I didn't either. He had to jump at me when I casually said something rhetorical.

But what he told me, what he told my pounding heart and foggy brain was amazing. It's not only amazing for me, it's amazing for you.

We were the perfect pair. My family accepted you into the picture, my brother loved you like the brother he'd never had. My friends saw us together and thought it was the most natural relationship out there. Your family accepted me like they've never accepted any other girl you've dated. Your brother approved of me, and the other said I'd be welcome in the family.

Now imagine that, Chris, and multiply it by 100. Because that's what He's got in store for both of us, just with different people.

The girl you marry is going to be stronger than me in so many ways. She'll be your perfect companion and assist you in the mysterious and important work you have ahead of you. She'll be your true companion, your perfect mate, your Eternal wife.

And He's got some amazing guy waiting in the wings for me.

I know these things because He told me so.

So thank you for continuing our friendship. For texting me these last 2 days. For treating me like your best friend, a title I was honored to receive while you were serving. Thank you for understanding that I had to do what He asked, and thank you for being you.

Come What May has a different meaning for me now, but you'll always be tied to that.

So, readers, thanks for taking an interest in my life, but understand, this post wasn't for you. It was for him.

~Courtney

2.5hours

Dear readers,

I've been keeping a monumental secret from you.

For the past two years, I've written a Mormon Missionary. My Missionary.

His name is Chris Green, he served in Houston, Texas, and is now fluent in Spanish.

He lands in the Salt Lake City Airport in two and a half hours.

I'm sitting in my apartment, waiting for one o'clock to roll around, which is when my shift starts, and I'm staring at this two-inch binder

which is filled with seventy-two letters, each more than three pages long, with beautiful cursive writing filling every corner of each page.

They are filled with amazing spiritual thoughts from a really, really amazing spiritual man. They contain his hopes and dreams for the future, his desires, goals and pet-peeves.

This binder contains the letters that helped me really understand Christopher Green, and we've formed the strongest friendship through these.

I'm rifling through a large purple shoe box filled with mementos, envelopes and lots of green ribbon.

I kept the best looking envelopes and stored them in this box, with plans for future decorating ideas.

I've been waiting for August 2012 for two years, really more than two years, seeing as he prepared for his mission for at least four months.

So he's home today. Today. TODAY!!

I've waited for this day for two years, and it's finally here.

Welcome home, Chris. I can't wait to see you on Saturday.

~Courtney

Fare Thee Well, Andrew!

Today being September 11th, I've heard a lot of great things on the radio and TV.  Thoughts of inspiration and strength that have made me, once again, proud to be an American.

My most favorite message from today came from my dear, amazing friend, Andrew.  His LDS mission farewell was this morning, and I excitedly drove myself to his church building at 9 A.M to hear his talk.  It was absolutely amazing.  He made me cry, he made me laugh, he made me grateful to be a child of God.

Andrew has been a part of my life for over 5 years now and he is one of my closest 'guy friends'.  In fact, he very well might be my best 'guy friend'.  After high school we went for almost 2 years without seeing each other, and yet today we were able to pick right back up like we'd seen each other yesterday.

And now this amazing guy is going to go all the way to Germany to share his wonderful testimony about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints with all who are willing to listen.  He's going to change some lives and change his own life at the same time.  I'm so proud of this kid.

Go Forward in Faith, Left Leg!