Nursing Graduation!

I did it!

I did it, I did it, I did it!

I am a graduated nurse!

(Though don't call me a registered nurse yet, I haven't taken the NCLEX yet)

It was a wonderful and fulfilling feeling, standing on that stage in my glowing white scrubs,

Knowing that I achieved a life-long dream.

I am so grateful for the way my life has turned out. 

I am grateful for the hard work I have gone through.

I am grateful for USU- Eastern's nursing program.

I am grateful to be a nurse!

The Final One Bites The Dust

Look at all those beautiful brown X's!!

I remember being handed this schedule the same day I found my dear friend, Eric, died.

And I remember scouring this schedule a week later, when my roommate announced that she was joining the army and leaving me with 3 full months of rent unpaid.

I remember calling my parents and planning my early move home after lecture classes ended early March.

Even though some days were filled with sad and heart wrenching memories,

most days were filled with laughs, hugs, and encouragement.

I will always look back on this semester as the most fulfilling four months of my life.

I remember staring at that calendar thinking the days were moving too slowly,

yet at the same time the days were flying by!

I am here, the day before graduation, thinking

"Am I really ready to be a nurse?"

I know the answer is a yes,

because I've been waiting for this day all my life.

But I also wonder if I'll ever be completely ready to be a nurse.

Regardless of my feelings...

Ready or not...

Tomorrow is graduation day

{Delayed Gratitude}

I've written before about my miraculous scholarships which completely paid for my third semester of school. I had to maintain a 3.7 GPA in order to receive the same scholarships next semester, so I was very on top of my grades this time around; no "B+ is totally acceptable" attitude for me! So I worked hard, and in 4 of my 5 classes, I had a nice, pretty A.

I had a high A- in the other class, and after some tweaking with my grades on Canvas (our online school website) I realized that if I had done only 5 points better on a very large exam, I would barely bump into the A category. So I swallowed my hesitation, and walked in to the nursing director's office (who's also my instructor for this class) and put my situation in front of her. I had very good reasons for this 5 point increment, as I had done the assignment before she had made changes to the way it was done. This exam was graded in 10 point increments, 70, 80, 90, 100. I had earned an 80 and I offered to her that a 5 point raise would bump me up to an A.

I emphasized that I was pleased as punch with an A-, it meant I could keep my scholarship, and I was happy enough with that. No lie, I was thrilled! I had all A's and an A-! Woot! I guess my argument for the 5 point increase was solid with my instructor, because when I opened my email at home, she had given me the points, and my grade was a beautiful, shiny A!

4.0 GPA baby!

I know in the past I have complained about life in Price, Utah. It's really not my cup of tea, and I'm certainly not sticking around after graduation, but I am 100% positive that this program was where I needed to be. I have teachers who genuinely care about me and my success.

I'm grateful that Heavenly Father has put me on the righ path towards my future.
I'm grateful for this nursing program.
And I'm grateful for a much needed month long break from school.
~Courtney

Another One Bites The Dust

Another beautiful semester schedule filled with glorious blue X's.

I don't think it's possible for me to grow old of this tradition.

The first few weeks of this semester just dragged on.

They were some of the most difficult and heart wrenching weeks of my life.

But then things got better, my heart healed up enough to be functional,

and the semester just flew by.

So I did it! Took my final this morning, did pretty dang good.

We'll see what my final grades are tomorrow.

Things look up.

Three semesters down, one to go!

~Courtney

Ketchup

I realize I haven't posted about this semester at all. I guess Eric's death the first day of classes really threw me off the blogging groove. I know he checked this blog out a lot, just to keep in contact with me, so it's been hard to get back into writing when I know he's not there to read it.

So I suppose I'll play catch-up now. Heavens, so much has happened in the past 4 months. In August, I got a surprising text from my roommate saying she had decided to move back to California and drop out of the nursing program here. So all of the sudden, I had the entire apartment to myself. I lived alone until the middle of October, when an LPN student moved into Stephanie's old room. It was crazy chaos as Stephanie's stuff was moved out of the apartment, and Chelcea's stuff was moved in, all on the same day. But now things are almost entirely settled, and it's working out well.

School has been really, really good this semester.

Like, I'm completely serious.

At the end of the school year, the nursing director, Donna, retired. One of the instructors, Nikkie became the new director, and she has completely revamped the entire program. It has been a wonderful, much needed change.

The semester ends the second week of December, which means I have about 3 weeks to go. I am currently in the middle of my Medical/Surgical clinical rotations, so I get up super early (if you consider 5 AM early) and I drive to the hospital near the highway to start my day at 5:30. I love being in the hospital, caring for my patients. I feel accomplished and it's a wonderful way to prepare for being a graduated nurse. Living in Price isn't the most fun thing i've ever done, but I have come to realize how lucky I am to have a fully functional (though small) hospital just 10 minutes from my house.

Half way through last month, I discovered that the scholarships I received are given out both semesters. I had assumed that the refund check I got in August was the money intended for Spring 2014. I stowed it away in my bank account, ready to pull it back out to pay for my last semester of school. A friend told me that the check I received was the leftover money for this semester, and if I kept my grades where they needed to be, I would get the same scholarship money for next semester's tuition. So if I maintain a 3.7 GPA (currently it's a 4.0, so fingers crossed!) I will get roughly $2,000 next semester in leftover money.

With this in mind, I decided to quit my awful telecommunication job at Sorenson's. I had weird hours and I hated the work, so I looked at my expenses and figured I could make due for 6 more months off the scholarship refunds. I'm not out buying stuff as freely as I used to, which is fine and good. I'm living within my means, and I'm benefitting from the free time I have now. I still work at the doctor's office Tuesday and Wednesday nights and Saturday mornings, so that is my wiggle money.

While life has tried to pull me down with a breakup, roommate troubles and the death of a best friend, I have found that relying on my Heavenly Father and enduring to the end has benefitted my life in ways I couldn't have imagined. I am so grateful and lucky to lead the life that I have!

Keep your chin up, friends, life gets better.
~Courtney

T-minus 6 Days...

I'm taking the NCLEX-PN in 6 days.
Oh my gosh.
I'm nervous.

Congrats to all the other students who have passed! Hopefully I can join your ranks!

It's crazy to think that if/when I pass... I'll finally be a nurse! Yeah, not an associate degree nurse, but a nurse nonetheless! OH MY GOODNESS!!!

Pray for me, friends.
~Courtney

Let's Check Off Spring 2013

I almost can't believe it! I'm done with my LPN year!

 Look at all those beautiful blue X's through 4 months of hard work!

This past month was like a mine field of tests and papers and ceremonies.

Our kitchen calendar proves that.

I've started posting stuff around my room to get me through those rough days,

but this magnet bought for me by my mom is probably my favorite.

I think it's become my mantra.

Seriously.

So excited to continue to the RN program with these people!! 

(Top row) Trent, Karen, Adam, Andy, Madi, Jen

(Middle row) Me, Stephanie, Lindsey, Brooke, Brooke, Ashlyn, Julie, Mikka

(Bottom row) Reanne, Celessta, Jisoo, Sarah, Catherine, Nicole, Rhonda

Pinning ceremony was nice, and it was so good to see my family down in Price, 

Instead of me up in Salt Lake!

Now I get to enjoy my short summer, and focus on this intimidating application

 Here I come, NCLEX!

Don't know when exactly, 

But I'll be kicking your trash around the month of June!

~Courtney

I'm In!!

     Here at Utah State University- Eastern, the nursing program is divided into two different programs. The first year is the LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse) program, and the second year is the ADN (Associate Degree Nurse) program.
     Getting accepted into the LPN program does not guarantee acceptance into the ADN program. Some people choose to stop schooling after getting their LPN, others get their LPN, then go to different universities to finish their degree. The only other program in Utah that accepts LPN status is Weber, and their program is online. I mentioned a while ago that I wanted to move to a different school to finish my degree, but when I found out the program was online based... I changed my mind. I need to be in physical class, I know myself too well.
     So the ADN application was due a few Friday's ago, and I was stressed out, to say the least. I only applied here, I didn't even bother with Weber, so I was so worried that I wouldn't get accepted, and I wouldn't know what to do with myself for an entire year.
     The professors met together yesterday to select the ADN students. It was a point system, so my name wasn't on my application for the teachers to be swayed either way. I had worked this entire semester to be a great student so the teachers would pick me for the next year, so when I found out it was anonymous, I was worried I wouldn't be selected.
     So, day after mailing out the acceptance (and rejection) letters, I ask my roommate to go check the mail for our letters. She texts back (I was home for the weekend) saying the letters were, in fact, already at our apartment. She opens hers and texts me excitedly that she got in. I ask her to open mine, because there was no way I could wait the rest of the weekend to know my fate. A few (painfully, torturous, long ) minutes later she responds with "YOU"RE IN!"
     So, dear readers, I'm in! I will graduate from nursing school in May, 2014. One more year here in this tiny town, and i'm free to go wherever I want, and work in whatever hospital, on whatever floor I want. I am so excited! I'm so happy my life long dream is so close to happening, it gives me all these excited feelings in my stomach.

~Courtney (RN in 2014)

Operating Room Clinicals

Dear readers,

I am almost 100% sure I have found my calling in life. (a very large emphasis on almost) That calling, you may ask? It's the operating room. Oh baby, is it the operating room! Which comes as a slight surprise to me, because I was almost 100% sure I was going to pass out, or get sick to my stomach, or actually vomit during this clinical rotation. None of that happened! 

In fact, I was moving all around the room, both days, to get better looks! On Wednesday I got to see a wide variety of surgeries. I saw 3 ear tube placements, which wasn't new to me, but I got to hang out with the nurse anesthetist (CRNA) while he kept the little kids under, and ask him questions about his schooling, and the medications he used. Then I saw 2 nerve block procedures, which were less thrilling, but involved a machine that looked a lot like an MRI, which was cool to watch. Last I watched a colonoscopy with multiple biopsies. That was the first day, which was cool, but not screaming to me "This is where you're meant to be!"  Though the nice cozy blue scrubs were definitely a big plus.

Day two: a whole different experience. Oh man, I got to see a hysterectomy, and an attempt at laser prostate resection. Both were cool, but the hysterectomy wins for most awesome thing I've ever seen. WARNING: this blog post is gonna get graphic, if you are squeamish, stop reading. 

The hysterectomy was done vaginally, so this poor female's legs were suspended way up in the air. She was covered up, so the only thing showing was the vaginal area. The doctor was so wonderful to let me see what was happening, and he told me what he was doing the entire surgery. It was fun to listen to him chat with his nurses, and it was so impressive to see the camaraderie between them. It made me look forward to the time when I will have work friends to chat with, too. He showed me the Fallopian tubes and ovaries while he was doing the surgery, and after the uterus was removed, he sewed shut the opening. Then he told me to put some gloves on, which was unexpected and weird, so I do, and he proceeds to turn around and HAND ME THE UTERUS. Which was awesome, by the way, freaking awesome. Then he hands me scissors and tells me to cut the uterus open. 

I've done dissections in anatomy lab, and in high school, but to have a fresh human organ in my hands... it was incredible. Seriously ya'll, I'm meant to be in the medical field. So I cut it open, felt the tissues and whatnot, then sent it off to patho for testing.

The next surgery was a laser prostate resection on an elderly guy who's prostate was so enlarged that he had to use an indwelling catheter to urinate. The plan was to thread a laser tipped catheter up into the prostate area, then turn the laser on and pretty much disintegrate the tissue. we all had these green goggles on to protetc our eyes (which I found slightly odd because the entire procedure was completely internal), and there was the laser technician in the room, who had brought the machine from Salt Lake.
It took the surgeon almost 10 minutes to get the laser catheter up to the prostate, because the skin was completely shredded all the way up the urethra, which the surgeon assumed was from months of catheter use. The tissues were spouting blood everywhere you looked; I felt so bad for the poor guy. The catheter finally reached the prostate, and the surgeon tells the tech guy to start up the laser. He does, we all fasten our goggles on securely, and... nothing.
Yeah, after 10 minutes of work threading that laser up there... the thing doesn't work. Turns out the wire to the foot pedal had a cut in it, and during the 10 minutes of catheter threading, urine and blood had been dripping down on to the foot pedal wire... ruining the entire system and bringing the surgery to a halt. You should have seen that tech guy. He didn't bring a replacement foot pedal, and he hadn't thought to check wiring before the surgery started. He was stammering and apologizing to the surgeon, when really, he should have stuck around and apologized to the patient. The surgeon put in a new catheter so it would be easier for him to get to the prostate on the second try in a few weeks. After the laser catheter was removed, the tech guy left pretty much immediately, and left the circulating nurse to explain to the patient what had happened, and that he would have to wait another few weeks for the surgery.
While it was disappointing to not get to watch a laser disintegrate tissue, it was a great lesson for me on the importance of double checking your equipment before surgeries, and for Heaven's sake  have a replacement or two waiting in the wings!

So those were the surgeries I got to watch, and really, all of them were pretty dang cool. So we will see if operating room nursing is what ends up being my calling in life.
~Courtney

I.... did it!

Behold!

My first legit semester of nursing school is over! 71 beautiful orange X's through the most... interesting semester of my life.
How did I do on my finals, you ask? Best of the class. Pummeled them. Rocked em. Aced both of them. You know what? I may not have been the top of my class, and maybe that pharmacology final wasn't a beautiful, gleaming A, but it did turn out to be a beautiful A-! I did well. That's all I particularly care about. I am continuing on in this program, and that, right there, is an accomplishment not every nursing student can boast.
Not every nursing student graduates.
But I'm not gonna be one of em.

No sir. I'm gonna get my R.N.

Courtney Brown, R.N.

I've got 3 more semesters until I reach that goal. THREE SEMESTERS. It's strangely frightening, knowing in 3 more semesters I'll learn everything I need to know to protect and care for people's lives. But I know I can do it.
And I've got a frickin fantastic support system behind me.

So thank you to my friends and family, and thank you to USU- Eastern for accepting me to be in this program. I may not like Price, but I sure like saying "oh, I'm in nursing school".
Best feeling ever.

Loves
~Courtney

P.S. happy 12/12/12!

10 Clinicals Later...

Today was my last clinical for the semester, and I'm having mixed feelings.
Clinicals have been wonderful, because I'm applying what I learn, and I can see my actions having an effect on my patients. I get to watch the nurses chat with each other, and manage patient care. It's nice to move about, instead of sit still for 4 hours in a classroom.

But at the same time, these clinicals have been pretty, well, dull honestly. The patient's don't have thrilling diagnoses or have tons of holes in their bodies. In fact, none of my patients have even had a catheter. So I'm looking forward to next semester, where we do rotations in OR, ER and community health. Though I won't lie.. I'm a titch concerned about passing out in OR or ER... or both. Gulp.

Something clinicals has made me realize? I really like working with the little kids. Which, considering my babysitting past, shouldn't surprise me. I knew there's a pediatric floor, this isn't news to me, but when it really dawned on me that I could do peds... It was like this light bulb went off in my head. So now i'm adding peds to the list of possibilities, and wondering where I'll eventually end up.

Certainly not med/surge though, that's for sure.

~Courtney

The Snugly Duckling

Today was clinical #2. I forgot my watch, and had the hardest time getting out of bed.

On the way over I realized in a few months, my clinicals will be at 5:45 A.M. Shudder.

But after getting there, and standing around for a half hour, we were released to do the

stuff we needed to get done, and for me, that was interview one of the residents there.

I was worried she wouldn't give me good answers to the dozens of questions I had to 

ask for my assignment. She was great, and I easily answered all the questions, and then

some. It was a lot of fun to listen to all her stories, she even made me cry a bit, and of 

course we laughed together too. The paper's written and turned in, hopefully I get full 

points on it. After that assessment was finished, I didn't really know what else to do,

there weren't any call lights to take care of, and all the residents were at lunch, or just

about at lunch. So thus began the duckling parade. We all wear blue scrub tops (that 

button up, how weird is that) and khaki pants, and I've noticed all six of us students will

stand in the same position, feet together, hands in front, with one hand grasping the other

wrist. It's like we all subconsciously know to stand the same way, one of the nurses saw

it today, she looked at all of us, turned back to her patient, then turned back to us with

this look like, 'are you all seriously standing the same way?' I find it sort of numerous.

Not only do we all stand the same, we also follow each other around during the dull

moments, and we look like a sea of blue and khaki. The CNA's there giggle sometimes

when we walk by in that group. Overall, clinicals have been slightly frustrating thus far.

Today our clinical instructor encouraged us to use our blood pressure cuffs as much

as possible to get used to reading them accurately. Later when the nurse pulled out a 

glucometer and asked which one of us wanted to get a blood glucose reading, almost

all of my fellow students got this look like, 'you want me to poke a patient and draw 

BLOOD?' I had to laugh internally, then volunteered, and did the procedure while they

all watched (and took notes). I am so grateful for the experience I had working as a 

medical assistant, yet at the same time, it's made clinicals less exciting and a little on

the tedious side sometimes. I'm so looking forward to when we start learning new-to

-me information.That's when this will become challenging and a lot more fun, I love a 

good challenge. I'm grateful every single day to finally be in nursing school, working

towards the goal I've had all my life. R.N, here I come! Finding joy in the journey. 

~Courtney 

[it's real now]

Today, while sitting in class, my life really hit me. I was sitting in NURS 1020, taking notes and mentally sorting through what I needed to do once I got home (TB test, read 2 chapters, write a small essay, fill out a diagram, start reviewing material, read an online article) and it finally became real.

I'm in nursing school.

I know this is going to be quite the challenge over the next 2 years, but today, right now, I'm so grateful to be where I am, and to have this experience and opportunity.

Here we go! RN or bust!

~Courtney

when i have time to think

I've been pretty depressed lately. Not in an 'i need to seek help' sort of way, 

but in an 'i feel alone and wish i was still in Florida' sort of way.

The day I landed in Utah, after spending 6 magical months at Disney World, i stepped right into a busy, crazy lifestyle that kept me going, and kept Disney off my mind for about a solid month. I changed my hair color, I drove to Price and bought an apartment. I caught up with friends from home, I spent a week with friends from Disney. I unpacked my suitcases, and packed up my every belonging and moved out (mostly, sorry mom, I'll get those boxes out soon, i promise). I celebrated my twenty-first birthday, and started nursing school in the same month. I was doing great, and Disney crossed my mind not nearly as much as I thought it would.

But now i've been home two months, and i've been living in Price for one of those months, and Disney has invaded my mind. And since taking my final exam on Friday of last week, it's been almost all-consuming. When I have time to myself, to sit and think. To look at my life, where i am, where i was, i get serious Disney-Depression. It's not fair to myself, i know.  I know i should be thankful for that amazing experience, and focus on being thankful for this new experience that i've been dreaming of all my life.My problem? This new experience can't hold a candle to Disney. I have every hope that soon, in two weeks, it will. Once fall semester starts up, and I am busy, making new friends, and learning new things, i have no doubt i will have the time of my life. But right now, this very moment, i'm sad, alone, bored, and depressed. 

I can't be alone. I get depressed. I need to be with people, or at least studying or reading a book. When i'm doing nothing, i think, and when i think, i think of Mickey Mouse and how much my heart misses the Place Where Dreams Come True. 

I can't sit and wait for my Gold Ticket. I've got to get out and find things to occupy my mind with. 

I  will be forever grateful for the Disney College Program, and how it changed my life. I am also grateful for the chance to go to nursing school, and I really can't wait to dive head first into school.

~Courtney

[test numero uno]

USU Eastern has a testing center, so our instructor tells us what days the test is available and we go take it whenever we want. This is very different from what I'm used to, and I decided to treat it like I have in the past. I decided to go to class, and take the test immediately afterwards.

So, you know what? I did.

I kinda assumed everyone else would do the same, considering this test seemed to be a cake walk. To my surprise, I was the only one asking to take the test right away. Two girls in my class were studying in the hallway, said they wanted to keep studying, so I went ahead and took it all alone. (fine by me, love silence while testing)

So how did my first ever nursing school test go? Awesome.

I credit my success to the fact that I have all my prerequisites done, and worked for a year in a family practice office.  The questions were worded to make you think about your options, and used a lot of medical conditions that I was familiar with.

I won't get a grade until Thursday, but for now, I'm feeling oh-so-confident. Go me!

~Courtney

It's about to start

When I was little, I put band-aids on my dolls, and begged my parents for wheelchairs for my Barbies and American Girl dolls. I carried around a black plastic doctor bag with the funniest looking stethoscope you've ever seen.
All my life, I've wanted to be a nurse.

Tomorrow, that dream becomes a reality.

As of tomorrow at 9 AM, I will be a nursing student.


Is it odd that I'm scared?  Maybe everyone feels like this when they take their first step towards the rest of their life?

Here I come, USU- CEU nursing program. See you bright and early tomorrow.

~Courtney

The Day My Life Changed

Yes, that's right, my life changed on April 4, 2012.

For my sake, I'm just going to put the entire story here, so I can read this again and again for the rest of my life.

Wednesday afternoon I was working Minnie Mouse at Magic Kingdom, when I got a text from my mom.  She asked me what my work schedule was for the day, and that I should call her once I was home, no matter how late that was.  That last bit is what tipped me off to the possibility that she had just pulled another nursing letter from the mailbox.

I called her and asked her to just open up the dang letter so I could stop dwelling on it during work. She refused, so I had to finish up the last 6 hours of work before I would find out what the letter said.

By the time I got home, I had convinced myself it was another rejectance (DATC said no 2 weeks earlier, and USU had said no even earlier than that). I spent the entire bus ride home praying to Heavenly Father saying "I know no amount of prayer can change the ink on that letter, so please, if it's a no, show me what you want me to do with my life."  I came home to an almost empty apartment and called my mom. She had decided during the day to Skype opening the letter, and I told her I really didn't want to cry in front of her, I was that convinced that it was a no.

So she won the argument and in a few minutes, I had my laptop on and my webcam plugged in.  We had some issues getting the cameras up and running, but before I knew it, she was opening the envelope from CEU.

Here's how the conversation went:

Mom: "Dear Courtney, we are thrilled"
Me:  starts hysterically crying
Mom: "to inform you of your acceptance to Utah State University; College of Eastern Utah's nursing program.
Me: throw my hands in front of my face and loose my marbles.

mom finished reading the letter, but I was too consumed with happy hysterics to even pay attention.  I posted my acceptance on Facebook, and the congrats started flowing in.  Three of my wonderful roommates came in to congratulate me personally, and I got a bunch of texts from friends and family at home.  My mom and I three way called my dad, sister and brother who were down in St. George for Spring break, so I could tell them the news.

The next day, my roommate Briana surprised me with this congrats cake

So now I'm looking for housing in Price, and I am soooooooooo ready for this next chapter of my life to begin!


The scriptures say that you have to taste the bitter to enjoy the sweet, and boy, have I tasted the bitter, and I'm so enjoying the sweet!

After 2.5 years of school, and 4 rejectance letters, this yes means the world to me.

~Courtney

P.S. stay tuned for my new blog title coming soon!!!!!!!