Friday, June 21, 2013

Anatomy of A Heartbeat

When I was a kid, I had a play set with a whole bunch of medical instruments.


My favorite was, of course, the stethoscope. 
I would hold it up to my own heart, and to everyone (and everything) that would let me.
Surprisingly, the stethoscope actually worked.
Not crystal clear, or anything remotely near the actual sound of a heartbeat,
but I loved that dull, muffled thump sound. 

I eventually lost track of that kit,
grew up and stopped playing with toys.
You know, went to school,
forgot about the plastic stethoscope. 

I eventually upgraded to a legitimate one,
about 12 years later.

You can't even imagine the excitement that exploded inside my heart
the first time I put it to my own heart.
It's magic.
Have you ever heard your own heart?
It's life changing. 
You're listening to the thing that's keeping you alive!
It's gratifying.
It makes you realize life is contingent on the strength of a muscle
that's only the size of your fist. 

There are days when I forget the magic of the heartbeat.
But then I remember that it's been a while,
and I pull out my stethoscope and listen for a while.
Just me and my heart.

I've been studying a lot recently for the NCLEX
(national certification licensure examination)
And I've been stressing out,
worrying that I'm going to fail.

I'm still stressed that I'm going to fail.
But I grab my stethoscope
and spend a few minutes reassuring myself...
Pass or fail...
My heart is strong enough to continue beating. 

So that's my idea of the anatomy of a heartbeat.
It's strength.

I'm in nursing school to touch people's lives. 
I'm in nursing school to listen to other's heartbeats
I'm going to be a nurse,
just like my heart's gonna keep beating.

Beat on, my friends.
~Courtney

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